Game of Thrones / A Song of Ice and Fire, Doctor Who, Star Wars, Libertarian politics, and Live Music. And cycling. Lots of cycling.
Just went through the TSA screening at Norfolk International. Had my balls cupped twice and a hand shoved in between my ass, all in the name of safety. With my hands outstretched, I almost screamed “FREEDOM!” a la Braveheart, but figured I didn’t want to get arrested this morning.
Seriously, fuck the TSA.
Yesterday, I flew into LA out of Miami International Airport.
As is usually the case, people were very obediently being cattled through the pornoscanners. (Except for one closed-off lane, which I was told was for “employees.”)
TSA grunted commands and motioned with their hands. Words were rarely spoken to the bovine masses. Mercifully, tongue-clicks have yet to employed, but I suppose it’s only a matter of time.
The entire time I was in line, which was a good while, not a single person opted out. Every person did what they were told: without shoes, hats, belts, or backbone, they stood in the machine with their hands in the air and their feet shoulder-width apart as a government agent zapped them with a little radiation in order to get a closer look underneath their clothes. Not exactly the pose of a free individual.
As I do every time I am harassed by the TSA (ever since that opt out that forced my then-20-month-old daughter to be patted down and her diaper checked for explosive residue), I had my phone recording video. Even though the phone is on the conveyer belt, it’s better than nothing. When I reached the machine I informed the agent directing the ruminant masses with grunts and yelling at people for not understanding English (not like it’s an “International” airport or anything) that I was opting out.
She loudly yelled “Male opt out!” and directed me to stand to the side, where I waited. A few minutes later she looked at me and asked if anyone had come to get me. Since I was standing where she asked me to, obviously not. Eventually, an agent motivated himself away from his primary role of “standing” to retrieve me. My phone recording shows it took over seven minutes from the time I reached the scanner and when the male agent finally came to get me.
While gathering my belongings, he saw my phone was recording video. He asked if it was mine, I told him that it was and to not turn it off. He ignored me, and shut off the recording.
He instructed me to place my feet on a mat that had two yellow footprints. He calmly explained what he was about to do.
This exchange then took place:
Me: “Wait… you’re going to put your hands on my balls?”
TSA: “It’s procedure, sir. I need to run my hands up the inside of your thighs until I meet resistance with your privates.”
Me: “‘Privates’?” (I laughed at the non-ironic use of the word.)
TSA: “Would you like to do this in a screening room?”
Me: “It’s better that they [I motioned with my head to the people around me] can see what you’re doing.”
He then began. It’s actually been a while since my last pat-down, and somehow it’s gotten even more invasive. Four times he touched my testicles, and not incidental or glancing contact either - a solid pat. At least when my doctor does it, he lets me know how my prostate’s doing. He passed his fingers along the insides of the waist of my shorts, one swipe even snuck a bit inside my underwear. Twice, he ran his hand along my ass-crack. This guy was treading in areas that even my wife stays away from.
Afterward, he checked the residue on his gloves and then gave me a thumbs-up that I was free to go.
It’s easy to understand why rape victims are so traumatized by the experience. Even my relatively benign encounter with an otherwise “polite” agent was horribly obtrusive and unpleasant.
And, ultimately, it’s a waste. The TSA bottleneck itself serves as a target-rich environment, and would-be terrorists have already found ways to circumvent the humiliating procedures TSA has put in place.
As I explined in my post from 2010, The Case Against the TSA:
We ought not acquiesce to the state’s impractical, inefficient, invasive, expensive, and dangerous procedures by relinquishing the very freedoms that the government was ostensibly created to protect.
The TSA must be abolished, and responsibility of security must be returned to the airlines and airports, where there is greater accountability and incentive for safety, efficiency, and customer service. An airline that fails to take appropriate safety precautions to the satisfaction of customers will not do well. Same with airlines that treat their customers like cattle to be groped and ogled.
I’m looking forward to my freedom fondle this morning…
(via libertarians)
Do rape victims or other people suffering with PTSD have any rights, or is it the usual ‘if you don’t like it, don’t fly!’ bull?
Up until now my flying has been relatively easy, since my local airport didn’t have these monstrosities. I only had to worry about them on return trips. Now every single time I fly I’ll be going through a pat down, which excites me about as little as anything possibly can.
Seriously, when can this bullshit end?
A teenage girl’s sense of style got her in trouble at the airport.
Vanessa Gibbs, 17, claims the Transportation Security Administration stopped her at the security gate because of the design of a gun on her handbag.
Gibbs said she had no problem going through security at Jacksonville International Airport, but rather, when she headed home from Virginia.
“It’s my style, it’s camouflage, it has an old western gun on it,” Gibbs said.
But her preference for the pistol style didn’t sit well with TSA agents at the Norfolk airport.
Gibbs said she was headed back home to Jacksonville from a holiday trip when an agent flagged her purse as a security risk.
“She was like, ‘This is a federal offense because it’s in the shape of a gun,’” Gibbs said. “I’m like, ‘But it’s a design on a purse. How is it a federal offense?’”
After agents figured out the gun was a fake, Gibbs said, TSA told her to check the bag or turn it over.
By the time security wrapped up the inspection, the pregnant teen missed her flight, and Southwest Airlines sent her to Orlando instead, worrying her mother, who was already waiting for her to arrive at JIA.
“Oh, it’s terrifying. I was so upset,” said Tami Gibbs, the teen’s mom. “I was on the phone all the way to Orlando trying to figure out what was going on with her. It was terrifying. I don’t ever want to go through it again.”
Vanessa and her mom said it’s hard to believe anyone could mistake the design on the purse for a real gun because it’s just a few inches in size and it’s hollow, not to mention Vanessa has taken it on planes before.
“I carried this from Jacksonville to Norfolk, and I’ve carried it from Norfolk to Jacksonville,” Vanessa said. “Never once has anyone said anything about it until now.”
TSA isn’t budging on the handbag, arguing the phony gun could be considered a “replica weapon.” The TSA says “replica weapons have prohibited since 2002.”
It’s a rule that Vanessa feels can’t be applied to a purse.
“Common sense,” she said. “It’s a purse, not a weapon.”
A TSA official at JIA said it’s not that uncommon for passengers to wear something that could be considered a gun replica, but the official encourages everyone to check the prohibited items list, which can be found online or at the airport before going through security.
I can’t wait to fly this exact same route next week! (via Radley Balko)
(Source: news4jax.com)
